Just Sittin' Here.

Andrew working l
I'm sitting here thinking just how wonderful and great I am. God was very happy when he made me. He leaned back and said, "I finally got it right."

A Time to Search My Soul

I’m sittin’ here thinkin’.
I’m sittin’ here wonderin’
I’m just sittin’ here hurtin’.
It’s time.
The time has long since passed.
It’s time I searched my soul.
Why has it taken so long?
How did I fuck up so bad?
How the fuck did I get here?
Time is short.
Time is always short.
I see the man with the scythe.
I see him coming my way.
I wanna go out standing up.
I don’t wanna go out like this.
I need one more day to get it right.
One more hour.
One more minute.
Please.
Okay, Motherfucker.
Let’s go.
But just know.
As sure as I’m a miserable sinner.
As sure as I blew it this time.
I’ll get it right the next time.
I pray to God I do.
 

I Got the Blues so Bad

I got the blues so bad.
She left me.
She left me crying.
She left me all alone.
It was on a raining morning.
It was on a raining morning she left behind.
It’s now a raining night.
It’s now high time I did it.
Now, I’m gonna do it.
Now, I’m goddamn motherfuckin’ gonna do it!
She’s gotta go.
She’s gotta die.
I got the blues so bad, I’m gonna have to kill her.

Come with Me

Come with me and leave your fears behind.
Come with me and let’s see where we can go.
Let’s see if we can sing and dance.
Let’s see if we can fall in love.
Come with me.
Come with me and let your hair down.
Come with me and be my girl.
Bet you’ll love the life I’ll show you.
Bet you’ll love me like I love you.
Come with me.
Come with me and let’s go fishin’.
Come with me and let’s drop our lines in the river.
Let’s see what we catch.
Let’s sit on the bank with our toes in the water.
Come with me and let’s fall in love.
Come with me.
Come with me and let’s run off.
Let’s hold hands.
Let’s roll in the grass.
I know you’re some kind of fine.
I know you touch my soul.
Come with me into the sunshine.
Come with me into love.
Come with me and I’ll love you forever.

2nd to the Last Excerpt

Book Cover
Still holding my gun, on unsteady legs, I walked to the back of the barn and emptied my gut, splashing my boots in the process. I heaved everything I had in me and then some. When I was done, I wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my coat. On that fiery-hot day, in the middle of nowhere, in a godforsaken patch of desert, I learned that it is not easy to kill a man. It’s not easy at all, even if the man needed killing.

One More Excerpt

Book Cover
The cold February air passes through Devin’s coat and chills him to the very bone. He sits huddled with two other men on a flat car carrying machinery. They’re crouched behind a large slab of metal in an attempt to block the wintry wind, but it does little good. Well, at least it’s not snowing. The whipping wind and the clacking of the steel wheels upon the steel tracks preclude conversation.
Devin hugs himself tightly as the countryside slides by. The bare, leafless trees stand as silent sentinels in fields of snow, patiently awaiting spring. Here and there, a lonely cow or horse stares at the train as it passes. But none of that makes the slightest impression on Devin. He’s thinking back to the boardinghouse and the last time he spoke with Mary Callahan.

Excerpts

Book Cover

The reflected firelight flickered across awestruck faces and mirrored in the eyes of those who listened as stories were told of yesterday’s indignities and tomorrow’s aspirations. The look in those yearning eyes spoke of hopes and dreams. The laughter heard around the fire conveyed a sense that somehow it would all work out. For a few short hours, on Saturday nights, in the deep woods of a place none of them had ever heard of before, the constant fear that lived within their hearts was banished from their lives.

In time, they would prevail. Their sons and daughters would one day stand straight and tall as proud Americans, as proud as their fathers had been to be Irish.

*****

We rode in under a cloudless, blue-vaulted sky that seemed to go on forever. I glanced toward the arroyo. Sunlight glistened off a dozen rifle barrels. The sight of those guns gave me hope. Maybe I’d live long enough to see Luke Short in prison. I’d sure hate to die in this scrub patch while Luke was down in Las Cruces, drinking and whoring it up.

My Baby

I cain’t find my baby! Looked around and my baby cain’t be found.
I know she’s out there. I know she’s out there strutting her stuff.
I know I gotta find her.
My baby ain’t around.
My baby has to come home to her daddy.
If my baby don’t come home tonight.
I’ll have to go out and find her.
And when I find her,
If she’s with another man.
I’ll just have kill her.
I don’t want to.
I love my baby.
My baby weighs heavy on my mind.
My baby ain’t around and she cain't be found.
That weighs heavy on my mind.
My baby’s coming home tonight.
Or else, when I find her, I’m gonna shoot her dead with my .44.
I cain’t find my baby. Looked around and my baby cain’t be found.