She was born a free spirit.
She was the most beautiful woman in all the world.
She loved me and I loved her.
Her name was Maria. Her soul told my soul that I was worthy of her love.
She touched me . . . she loved me.
Then she was taken from me.
It was morning. The sun still hid its light beneath the horizon.
I awoke because of the sound.
The scream.
The horror.
I ran to where I thought the screams originated. But dreams can fool you.
I was alone.
Maria had died the day before.
It does not matter. We all die. We are all born with a death sentence.
It was I who found her body.
Her eyes looked into mine, but she did not see me.
As I looked at her broken body, I knew that was not her.
Her essence had fled to another part of the universe.
She was my love.
Now he must die.
I retrieved my gun and went in search of my brother.
He was where I knew him to be.
I raised the gun and stuck the barrel into his ear.
His brains sprayed out
His blood formed a red mist that floated in the air for a moment.
He was gone.
But his death did not bring back my Maria.
Now I will join her.
The gun barrel feels right in my mouth.
I pull back the hammer.
My hand is on the trigger.
My mind is on Maria
My finger squeezes the trigger.
I am no more until my essence is reborn.
Maria will find me.
Love is like that.
I get it.
Thank you. I’m glad someone gets it. Most people think I’m nuts. Although my dog is on the fence concerning my sanity, so there’s still hope.
I worked for Crisis Hotline and took a lot of suicide calls. What I know is that our feelings are our feelings, like it or not and no one has a right to argue with or criticize your feelings because even we cannot change them. We can overcome them but we can’t change them. Your poem represents a convoluted situation and people want a clean solution with a happy ending. Acceptance is the only solution because it is not our right to judge. “Never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes”. I think your poem is an important one and reminds me of the song, “The night the lights went out in Georgia.”
I get it, but it is unsettling, justifiable but sad. I hope they find each other, there’s no guarantee. The universe is funny that way.